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Author Topic: Gomer the Gambler  (Read 323 times)
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« on: January 31, 2018, 10 :41:10 PM »

Old man Gomer gets a call one Thursday morning from the IRS wanting to speak with him about some rather large transactions going in and out of his bank account. Gomer tells the agent he will be there first thing Friday morning. Gomer pondered on it all day and decided he better hire a cpa to go with him. So he called in the best cpa in the county and arranged a time to meet with him. The next morning Gomer met the cpa and they headed up to the IRS office. When they walked into the office the IRS agent didn't waste any time and started asking Gomer about these large transactions. Gomer's responded '' well sir I like to gamble'' the agent doesn't buy it, he ask "what kinda betting do you do?" Gomer sat there for a second and replied "well mr, I pretty much bet on anything. And if your willing I'll show you" the IRS agent agrees and Gomer says "I'll bet you $5,000 I can bite my eye" the agent thinks for a second and says he will take that bet. Gomer pulls out his glass eye and bites it. The IRS agent shakes his head in disbelief that he had just been had by that old man. Gomer has a smirk on his face and says "I have a lot of respect for you agents, and I don't want to take your money that easy, I'm gonna give you a chance to win your money back and some. I'll bet you $7,500 I can bite my other eye!" The agent sits there thinking about it. He knows Gomer didn't walk in his office blind and knew he had atleast one good eye. He tells Gomer he's gonna take the bet. So Gomer pulls out his false teeth and bites his other eye! The agent about faints when he sees this. He knows he has been had. Gomer says "ok ok ok I got u that time but like I said I respect you agents and I'm gonna give you a chance to win your money back and some. Your down 12,500 and I'll bet you 15,000 I can pee across this room into that trash can without getting a drop anywhere but in that can." The agent measured the distance in his head and knew it wasn't a chance the old man could pee 20 ft without getting a drop on the floor. He said he would take that bet. Gomer unzips his pants and starts peeing all in the IRS agents office, on his desk, the floor, u name it. The IRS agent is laughing and tickled that he has won his money back plus $2500. The agent looks over at the cpa and he is shaking his head like he is upset. The Agent said what's wrong with you? The cpa says " this old sob bet me $100,000 he could come in your office and pee all on your desk without you getting mad about it!"

Lord, make me fast and accurate. Let my aim be true and my hand faster than those who seek to destroy me. Grant me victory over my foes and those that wish to do harm to me and mine. Let not my last thought be, if only I had a gun, and lord, if today is the day you call me home, let me die in a pile of empty brass´╗┐

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that wh
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